May 16, 2011

Dear whomever, I am not going to apologize about the things I have done. Telling her how I felt was something I personally need to do for myself. This is a petty teenage drama. It happens all the time, and I don’t understand why parents feel the need to get involved when I have not intentionally insulted her (by insulted I mean swore), called her a bitch or anything. I do not think these things about her. Yet Kate has called me a hoe, called me a bitch and swore numerous times at me. If anything, I was insulted more. Yes I “stole” (and let me point out that she has given me these passwords several times, so technically I didn’t do anything wrong ) the passwords and did change the password. Again the reason I did this is because I am a teenager. Not one person on this earth can say they haven’t done hurtful things to another person as a teenager. 

You can make a NEW tumblr and you can make a NEW email. You can still use facebook or any other account with mckate@live.com it doesn’t matter if you have access to your tumblr or email. Me changing the passwords should not be blown out of proportions. 

If the point of calling my Mom was to threaten me, or to get me punished you are mistaken. a) I have told my Mom about the things I did and she is not angry with me. (I am surprised Kate has forgotten about the fact my Mom is easy going and has not grounded me since I was about 11) b) My mom will defend me and will take my side, there is no need to escalate it to a fight between parents. I can take care of my own problems without a parent present.

Saying that Kate didn’t do anything to me is wrong. This message: (http://corkle.tumblr.com/post/5496505492/wow-didnt-think-all-of-the-shit-people-were-talking) was not from me and any message that doesn’t have my name on it isn’t from me. (I also think that this person was 100% out of line calling her names such as trashy.)  But Kate brought up MY name multiple times in her reply to it. The biggest reason I got involved in all this mess is because I was brought into it by Kate. My name shouldn’t have been mentioned in that message and it was unnecessary to bring me into something that was not done by me. I felt that Kate was being disrespectful towards me by saying that I have acted like a bad friend for not wanting to be involved with a person who does drugs. I am not going to be brought down with her.I felt the need to defend myself and that is why I sent the original message (the one that starts with first and foremost). Once Kate replied to my message I felt even more insulted with the fact she called me a bitch. I felt angry and I made the rash decision of changing the passwords. However I am not going to apologize to Kate, I feel regret but only because I have made myself look like a complete moron. Again I feel no regret sending the message about how I feel. That is something that I felt and still feel needed to be said. This entire thing also shouldn’t be pinpointed on me. Only 2 out of 8 messages were from me and the only reason it is being pinpointed on me is because I’m the only person who confessed my identity. 

To be 100% honest I think that this drama is the least of your worries, Kate is going down a dangerous path, anyone can see that. Drugs, sex, partying, even self-harming herself to make herself skinnier. Not eating and making yourself throw up is completely bad for your mental health and physical health. Throwing up harms your throat and body in huge ways and I think these are MAJOR MAJOR self-image problems that a beautiful girl like Kate shouldn’t have. I’m not even going to go into the facts about what drugs does. The message I sent was not just about defending myself, it was also to help her. Not insult her. I wish the friend I had was not doing this to herself. 

As soon as you have read this message I will delete this tumblr. I think that this is the best course of action for all of us. Neither of us will have to harass each other for passwords and whatnot. Keep in mind you can always make a new tumblr and not give anybody the URL or password, so something like this will never happen again. I hope that this resolves all issues and that this will end all this nonsense.

-Bailey

12:58am
May 15, 2011

To my boyfriend(Nate) who knows its hard for me to get over the boy I lost my everything (first love first kiss and loss of virginity) to.

Nate if your not happy you should break up with me. If you love me you can stay with me. I tell you I love you when I feel it. I don’t always feel it. I Have to admit I feel more love for Jake(ex) than you sometimes. But I really like you Nate. Your everything I ever wanted to see in Jake near the end of our relationship. I cant bring myself to wright you a love note (like the bagillions he has written me) because if I were to ever take back what was in those notes i im scared it would scar you the way Jakes old sweet love notes scar me. I still believe everything he said to me. He used to say the same things you say to me now. Ive herd it all before and it just sounds like Jake talking. I know you feel like this is a one way relationship and im sorry. I cant wright you love notes or tell you I love you that often. I dont always love you dan. Maybe I just love you as an amazing friends. I dont know anymore. But I know that i HATE with my whole body and soul the obsessive thoughts I have for Jake. And I wish more than anything to be clean of those thoughts.
I should have never said yes to you asking me to be your girlfriend so quickly after dumping caito(ex before nate) because in all honesty? Jake is the biggest reason why I couldn’t be with caito. I cant stand the thought of another person falling in love with me. I had to end it before he said “I love you” to me because I know he was just about to say it. I made up a bullshit reason to why I dumped him to cover the fact that It really was mostly about Jake. I dont want to let the mind that revolves around jake ruin another relationship. I wish I could eras every memory and thought I have for Jake so I could purely and innocently fall for you, but I cant. And Its taking a really. really. really tong time to get Jake out of my head. Im sorry you had to find out the way you did.

  • 4 hours ago
  • - 4 days left to answer.

Additional Details

To first answer: OMG. I know right! HE SHOULD! ITS NOT FAIR TO HIM! MISTAKE MISTAKKEEE! Fuuuucckkkk. I shouldnt have said yes to going out with Nate AT ALL…. Im just horrible at saying no. HIs sister is my best ******* friend and his other older brother wrote me a song. His family is my best friend. So I guess Ill wait for him to dump me. Right? Or ill **** everything up….

4 hours ago

Oh. And Ive talked to Jake.
We went out for a year and a half but now he has a really nice thing going with one of my old best friends who I drifted away from years ago.
It ******* sucks.
I feel so ******* dumb.

9:00pm
May 15, 2011
You dont know how much this sucks.

You dont know how much this sucks.

8:58pm
May 15, 2011

Let’s admit. I looked fuggin sexy today im those panties. And I was picturin me showing it off to Connor. Why. Why… Why.

8:58pm
May 15, 2011

Kate, disregard that last thing i sent you. I was feeling depressed i guess its fine now. :)

8:54pm
May 15, 2011

Well, now that its over between us, its gonna be hard, but ill try to be your friend. but, being your friend now is probably going to be one of the hardest things to do.I understand how Connor must have felt, thinking he treated you like a douche was my mistake. He did what was best for him at the time. I gotta stay away too. I won’t swear and yell at you but it wont be the same as before. I still have feelings for you though they arent as strong as before. I’ll be ok soon but im not too sure how long it’ll take. Goodbye Kate. See ya around.

8:53pm
May 15, 2011

Anonymous asked: and i don't hate you or anything, but it's not like i can call you my best friend.

LOL, DIS BE A LIE.

8:51pm
May 15, 2011

Anonymous asked: I also think that what you said about guys is completely stupid and just a plain horrible thing to say. Being a feminist doesn't mean you have to degrade guys. And loving god doesn't make you a good person. Search the westboro baptist church up in youtube.

-Bailey

Yes, you are so right. Thanks for giving me this valuable life lesson. I will take this to heart and really try to solve my problems!

8:50pm
May 15, 2011

Anonymous asked: Im sick of you.

I’m sick of me.

8:48pm
May 15, 2011

Anonymous asked: They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
;)

if you like that song you should totally listen to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jmoG10x6H8

8:48pm
May 15, 2011

Chris Crocker - Bitch, please! (by itschriscrocker)

2:28pm
May 15, 2011

perfectedflaw asked: Hey cork:D
it's D-ja3y!!
Basically I don't know how to work this tumblr mobile very well, but I hope this message reaches you:

I just wanna let you know how much I really appreciate you. Like Saturday for instance- you were just all smiles and a positive person to be around. I don't know why allthese people on your page are rambling on about: but I FRIGGIN' LOVE YA!

You are a beautiful girl, by the way. Your eyes are like BAM! and your style is like DAMN! hahaha "no homo":P

anyways I just want to tell you that you really are a great person, an you have never done anything purposly to hurt anyone. Ignore people who.... how do they say it? "be hatin'" :) 'cause you happen to make my life just that much brighter!
If you ever need anything, or anyone to talk to then- hey! Here I am:))

DJ I fuckin love you :) no homo hahaha

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awh, god I dont even know what to say. I dont think you can understand how much I appreciate this! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

You brighten up my day girrrlllll :) Like a thousand light bulbs on the sun :3 XD lol.

2:27pm
May 15, 2011

Anonymous asked: lol. letting the hate finally get to you, eh?

BITCH PLEASE

http://youtu.be/O6Bqf23u-40

BITCH PLEASE

2:24pm
May 15, 2011
Look,

Its as simple as this.

If you want to be my friend than I want to be your friend.

If not? Than leave me the fuck alone.

Don’t explain to me WHY you cant in depth? Dont explain to me why I’m such a hard friend to keep around.

I know myself better than you do. I don’t even know why I felt like I had to explain myself for you to understand…

Its bullshit.

You want to talk about my problems?

Bitch, lets talk about yours.

2:23pm
May 15, 2011

nug16 asked: Damn it all Kate. THE JOHNSON'S are NOT INVOLVED the only reason i saw this whole mess is because someone called Leslie to look at it, Ok? Saying we are all judgmental is bullshit. The one person who might be in the picture you painted is Jake and he's not even that bad anymore. Yea, your having a hard life? Well, get used to it. Thats the life of a fucking teenager. I have my own problems, some in the eyes of people, are worse than yours but I don't go posting them online. I'm sorry to use harsh language but this is me. Did you really think that people from school weren't going to see all of this? Being a "pussy" as you so kindly put it, during our whole relationship was the biggest fucking mistake of my life to this day. The only reason thats who i was is because thats what seemed like you needed. You were always telling me about your family life being a huge mess and if you weren't getting the love you needed from home i tried extra hard to give it you. I'm surprised at how easily you turn on people the second you suspect something. Well, fuck this whole situation. Now the entire Johnson family is involved in this mess. If this changes your opinion of me I'll deal with it. Don't include things about my family. We have ALWAYS been there for you even after our breakup and its not fair to go saying you only used us for the times you wanted us. Fuck that. If you truly believe thats the only reason you were around us, then your moral compass is fucked up beyond repair. By the way, this is my tumblr account if I have shit to talk or feel like "Judging" you this is where i'll do it from. Even after i texted you not to involve us you went ahead and did it anyway...

I KNOWWWWW. Im so embarrassed. You have no idea. That would have been a reasonable reaction if that were actually YOU saying that to me. BUT IT WASN’T YOU AND TO SAY THAT NOW IS UNFAIR, UNJUST, AND HORRIBLE! I take it all back. I was so angry that you would say that. Coming from YOU and then assuming your whole family was thinking the same exact thing and thats why you all stopped talking to me. I didnt turn my backs to you? After making this assumption I still said “COME SIT BY ME IN UPWARD BOUND”. Apparently that’s a guilt trip? But whatever I still said I wanted to be around you guys.

That rant should have been written in my journal…but I wanted YOU to see it. So therefore I posted it. I wanted Bailey to see it too. Not really caring if Victoria saw it. I think Angelina is going to read it? Thats about it. Should I delete it? Would that make you feel better?

Dan, I told you you were being a pussy. I told you all these things. It shouldn’t be a surprise.

Of course, all familys are a mess. Nobody is completely satisfied with there home life. Did I ever say anything about love? No. My Mom tells me she loves me a zillion times a day. Maybe I never felt my Dads love for me? But that’s always been like that. I don’t need his love from another man. Ive got it good, in fact, ive got it GREAT. If that is the real reason you loved me Dan than why didnt you say so? You loved me because you pitied me and wanted to give me everything I wanted and needed? No nononono nooo Dan. No.

I hate the fact that I’m a regret in your life.

I didn’t want it to be like that.

I LOVE THE JOHNSONS! Im sorry I JUST THOUGHT WHAT THE PENIS MAN SAID WAS YOU. And now Ive publicity slaughtered your names all over my blog.

No, thats not okay. How can I fix this! HOW CAN I FIX THISSS.

Only a few people will see it unless fucking Bailey and Victoria call someone else and tell them to look at it -,- hah.

Nobody else is involved but The Johnsons, Demetrius, Bailey and Victoria

How do I fix this. I wish I knew who mypinishuge was. I wouldnt have cared if I had known it wasnt you. I wouldnt have written anything!

WHAT IN GODS NAME DO I DO.

1:22pm
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